yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
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