I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
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