Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
