I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
