dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
