I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize