My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
