i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
