And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Randomize
