My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Randomize
