Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
