I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
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