this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
