There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Randomize
