there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
