It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
