I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
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