so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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