Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Randomize
