So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
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