if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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