Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize
