So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Randomize
