We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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