My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Randomize
