i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
Randomize
