I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Randomize
