So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
