Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
