So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
