Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
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