I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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