i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
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