Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Randomize
