ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
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