once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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