I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
You need Xanax blowdarts
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
