Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
i was born a porn star she said
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
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