Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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