It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize
