NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Randomize
