Fine. I'll sleep in my office
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
