There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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