Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
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