dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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