You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
