It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I think I died a long time ago.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
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