And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
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