Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
I need moral support for this bender
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
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