Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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