South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
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