I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Randomize
