is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
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