Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
