she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize