She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
