Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
