So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
