THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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