I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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