Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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