hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
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