we have officially lost it.
Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Let's get the cat blown out
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
