im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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