how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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